Having recently gone through this, I am writing from experience. I wrestled with my decision for the better part of a week before I finally took action. When I say that I wrested, I mean it was a real physical fight. Below, I share the things that crippled me and the rationale used to do what was right for me.

  • My thoughts – I was consumed with what people would think of me for making a decision that was in my best interest. My mind would go from one extreme to the other. I had to stop and realize that anyone who did not want me to act in my own best interest doesn’t care about me to begin with.
  • My sleep patterns – I tossed and turned for 3 nights straight. After that, I couldn’t sleep at all. I thoroughly enjoy sleep. For me, sleep is like a mini vacation that I get to take every day. When anything interrupts my sleep, it is time to make a change.
  • Comfort level – Just like clothes that are suddenly two sizes too small or shoes that squeeze your toes, you will know when your situation no longer fits. It will become so uncomfortable that you will be consumed with the thought of getting out. You won’t feel comfortable in any situation until this is resolved.


I had to weigh my options. I needed to decide if my current state or my sanity was more important. Of course my sanity won. As soon as the decision was made, I felt better. Next, I took action. I removed myself from the situation.I don’t know what that means to you, but I know you will feel better when you move. I won’t be easy. It wasn’t easy for me. There may also be a chance that you lose some relationships because of it. While that is sad, keep in mind that the relationship you have with yourself is also at risk. By forcing yourself to stay in a situation that you’ve come to loathe, you are putting yourself at risk for depression.

Resolve to love yourself enough to walk away.

sophia antoine